In addition to being able to carry more music with me in general, a side-effect of having increased portable music-player storage space is that I can finally take my entire They Might Be Giants collection everywhere I go.  No more weighing various albums, going with older volumes just because they’re classic, cherry-picking songs from records… I finally have the entirety of my music collection’s giant-y goodness with me at all times.

I’ve had a really good time re-visiting their entire catalog, remembering what makes this band so special for me.  Their music is so free, so unpretentiously groovy, but even more than that, their lyrics? Are amazing.

I thought I’d compile a list of my favorites from among John and John’s many amazing lines and refrains.

Without further ado:

–

-15-

I’m gettin’ tired of all my nautical dreams
I’m gettin’ tired of all my nautical themes
bustin’ my pirate hump
rockin’ my peg-leg stump
my mind naturally turns
to taxidermy!
to taxidermy!

(With the Dark – The Else)

-14-

Clearing my throat
and gripping the lectern
I smile and face my audience
clearing his throat and smiling
with his hands on the bathroom sink

(‘Till My Head Falls Off – Factory Showroom)

-13-

I like to play the drums
I think I’m getting good
but I can handle criticism

(Dr. Worm – Severe Tire Damage)

-12-

“How come you never look me in the eye?
Are you listening to me?” said the man
“Not at all, not at all,” said the woman to the man,
“I was thinking of an unrelated thing.”

(Unrelated Thing – John Henry)

-11-

They revamped the airport completely
now it looks just like a nightclub
everyone’s excited
and confused

(Man, It’s So Loud in Here – Mink Car)

-10-

We were once so close to heaven,
Peter came out and gave us medals
declaring us the nicest of the damned

(Road Movie to Berlin – Flood)

-9-

Being awake is swimming around
in a lake of the undead
and the undead are like
a bunch of friends
that demand constant attention

(Wearing a Raincoat – The Spine)

-8-

There’s only one thing that I know how to do well
and I’ve often been told that you
only can do what you know how to do well
and that’s be you
be what you’re like
be like yourself
and now I’m having a wonderful time
but I’d rather be whistling in the dark

(Whistling in the Dark – Flood)

-7-

“This song is dedicated to my one true love: The Ladies.”

(S-E-X-X-Y – Severe Tire Damage)

-6-

I found out she’s an angel
I don’t think she knows I know
I’m worried that something might happen to me
if anyone ever finds out

(She’s an Angel – They Might Be Giants)

-5-

There’s a picture opposite me
of my primitive ancestry
which stood on rocky shores
and kept the beaches shipwreck-free

Though I respect that a lot
I’d be fired if that were my job
after killing Jason off
and countless screaming Argonauts

(Birdhouse in Your Soul – Flood)

-4-

Waiting for the Dinner Bell to do the bell thing
Dinner Bell, Dinner Bell, Ding Ding Ding!!

(Dinner Bell – Apollo 18)

-3-

Glistening light
triangular tooth
open up a can of tomato juice
I’ve got a fang,
I’ve got. A Fang.
I’ve got a fang.

(I’ve Got A Fang – Mink Car)

-2-

This was the vehicle
these were the people
you opened the door
and expelled all the people
This was the vehicle
these were the people
you let them go

(At the End of the Tour – John Henry)

-1-

What’s that blue thing doing here?

(Fingertips – Apollo 18)