Monday’s Person I Want To Be

24 Nov
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The Basstard: making dressing like a 75 year-old man cool again.

Okay, so it’s not the, um, straightest thing in the world, but I have (as, I believe, do quite a few other straight dudes who won’t admit it), kind of a man-crush on Gossip Girl’s most dastardly young real-estate baron, Chuck Bass.  Dude never has to go to school, drinks and smokes all day, rides around everywhere in a limo a la Mr. Big, and occasionally gets to sleep with Leighton Meester.  What’s more, as we found out in last week’s thanksgiving episode, he gets a daily shave from his own personal barber, with whom he also drinks martinis. Outstanding.

So, this week, as I prepare to head to chilly, decidedly unglamorous climes and deal with the homestead of old, I am emulating Chuck Bass.  Aloof and above it all, yet passionate enough about those he cares about to rain hellfire and destruction down on any who would threaten them.

Also, dude gets to have Bart Bass as a dad, and that guy could win a *gravelly growl* talking like this competition with both Jack Donaghy and Devon Banks.  Seriously.  That’s one MF’er you want in your corner, even if it means that he’s also got a P.I. keeping a giant file on you.

Donaghy and Gob have nothing on Bart's sub-sonic gruffness.

Donaghy and Gob have nothing on Bart.

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